What would happen if an ice age starts? /Tips to survive an ice age

Amid tensions at an international scale, whether you are talking about climate change, ISIS, wars in the Middle East, pollution, refugee crisis, global warming, Donald Trump, the US, diseases that have no cure whatsoever or North Korea, many people wouldn’t expect that an ice age could occur, hell, they would tell you “ice age? This is year was consider one of the warmest in the 21st century. The fu** are you talking about ice age?”

Well, just to put you this way, an ice age can start in different ways, volcanoes, meteorites, the Milankovitch cycles, etc., and as you are reading this, you might be thinking “oh silly the one who wrote this article, the possibilities of a meteorite crashing the earth are almost remote, the volcanoes are not going to erupt enough SO2 to the atmosphere to trigger an ice age and the Milankovitch cycles just take too long to even think about another ice age”, yes you are right about the meteorites, yes you are right on the Milankovitch  but on the volcanoes you are wrong, the fact that a volcano cannot spew that much quantity of  SO2 doesn’t mean that an ice age cannot start, haven’t you heard about a super volcano?[1] (oh btw I forgot to mention that Yellowstone is a super volcano 60000 years overdue to eruption and that the north Koreans are nuking themselves just to test their nukes[2] in a country that has a super volcano in the border with china and, oh! we can’t forget the fact that these tests have caused earthquakes, so yeah, there is a possibility of returning to an ice age). Having said that, there is need to cite that we are in an interglacial period (an interval of warm global average temperatures that lasts 1000s of years separating glacial periods within the ice age) meaning that we are still in an ice age.

If an ice age was to occur, there would be a decrease in sea levels since seas would be frozen, meaning that certain places threatened by sea level rising wouldn’t be in risk anymore. People could be trying to link the ice age with polar bears with this formula, as they are reading this:

Ice age + global warming+ decrease on sea levels= habitat for polar bears

Yeah, the truth is that polar bears would have a habitat in this scenario however; the consequences wouldn’t be pleasant for humans and other species as it would be extremely cold to the point of causing casualties like mass extinctions in case that some species don’t adapt quickly. There would be a decrease in global temperatures as well as an increase in ice caps and glaciers. “What effects could to society could trigger an ice age?” you may be wondering, well my dear reader, the effects would result in a massive migration to warmer places since many regions in the northern and southern latitudes (e.g. Canada, Scandinavia, etc. (N) South of Argentina and Chile, New Zealand, etc. (S)) wouldn’t have proper conditions for humans to live; the reduction of spaces to grow aliments is also a problem since it would most likely to grow on places like Central Africa, Central America, North of South America and some parts of Asia, in the worst of the cases this could lead to a war between “superpowers” and countries in these regions for the natural resources (the superpowers will almost, definitely, probably, most certainly portray the people in charge of those countries as dictators and cause a nuclear war at an international scale that will eradicate all living beings, not that they’re not trying right now and considering how humans don’t learn from past mistakes…., nah they’ll do just fine). As I’ve spoken before an ice age would force people to migrate to warmer zones in the planet, well considering the fact that some of these places have their problems, and many people from these regions are trying to escape war and poverty to reach the so called “1st world” right now even though we aren’t letting them enter (yeah let’s face it, since we are probably thinking the same, we have to admit it is hypocrisy of the level of someone like Donald Trump) this could lead to conflicts between the natives and the migrants causing the creation of some far-right movements in those areas, which you my reader may find as an irony or karma. The likely migration to warm places will cause an unpleasant effect, overpopulation; we are seeing this right now but in the scenario of an ice age overpopulation will be more present than it is now because it is going to be more difficult to fit more than 7 billion people in a limited space even if global governments reach the point when they resort to use “drastic measures” to control population and decide to cut down all the forests in order to fit a certain amount of people it may not be enough.

Tips to survive the ice age

Well, as I have spent the time talking about the effects of an ice age and as you are reading thing you are most likely cursing as I took too much to reach the point of the tips (I don’t blame you I would be mad too) I am starting the point where I give delusional tips to survive an ice age.

Number 1:  start building acclimatised bunkers and ice age proof houses/buildings

Yep, this would most likely to be built all over the world, mainly in the northern and southern hemisphere as the governments at a moment of the glacial period will not care about the people, however, they do have the power to prevent and when I mean prevent  I mean reduce the damage of an event like the ice age. The bunkers would be acclimatised as well as the buildings, and doors would be blinded.

Number 2: improve technology

What do you mean by “improve technology?” you may be asking, well when I say improve technology I mean build robots that can work in the electric plants providing energy to the bunkers while being cold proof. Improving Wi-Fi speed meaning the average Mbps for global Wi-Fi connection should be 10 or 20. Stop consuming fossil fuel and start investing on green technology while we still can. Start cloning food because how are billions of people going to be alive during an ice age without food, they will resort to cannibalism in order to survive during an ice age as well as reducing drastically the human population as people will die from the sheer cold of the ice age, so spare me of the religious argument of “we shouldn’t clone because it goes against God’s wish”.

Number 3: stop wars

I mean they will stop wars at one way point as battling in a war during an ice age is not the brightest ideas. People will die from the sheer cold making useless the idea of having wars, but seeing how things are going right… nah I’m sure they will do just fine when referring to peace, isn’t that right ‘murica?

Number 4: change all the global economic centres

If there is an ice age, the first thing to know is how it started? The most likely scenario is an eruption from mount Yellowstone which can take us to the next ice age. And that leads to the next question, where is this super volcano? Well my dear reader this super volcano is in the United States, where it has one of the most important economic centres in this planet (wall street), and yes I know this plan may sound to you like BS and I apologize, however I think an eruption like that may crash the global economy like in 2008 but way worse and since many countries have ties with the US of A and depend economically a lot from them it may be a good idea to change the economic focal points to South Korea, Japan, China or Russia and try to reduce the damage of that eruption the maximum we can.

Number 5: preserve knowledge

This point is way more coherent than the last point. As a collective we must preserve all the knowledge we got and everything we worked so hard to achieve, so we must leave all our differences so that story remember our species achievements. Just with the goal of being remembered by all history and to try and prevent past mistakes from happening.

Number 6: be together

Humanity will need to be together in order to face an ice age and this does not mean that we should exploit the resources to the point where it threatened animal lives. This means that humans should solve their differences whether its religious/international. In this way we could live in peace, harmony and an ice age.

Number 7: change your diet

Yes, you heard me, if politicians and people don’t do any of the 6 first points, well, you can expect to have a nomadic life style, so I am sorry for vegans and vegetarians but you will have to eat a meat based diet, if not you are screwed as you won’t survive in an ice age without the nutrients needed. Anyways, human are biologically omnivores so they won’t have any problem to find aliments, unless of course they start to resort to cannibalism which is bad, a survival method, but still a bad one. (Kids don’t try this at home, seriously don’t, if you are starving don’t resort yourself to eat other humans, try eat a fruit instead of another human, it is healthier and it still has nutrients.)

Number 8: change your clothing

If we get to have a nomadic lifestyle make sure you have a lot of heavy clothing as if you have a soft clothing style during an ice age you will die from sheer cold. Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean we can’t have stylish clothes; we may as well find a new Calvin Klein in the ice age.

Just remember…

66324305                                                         He might take yur’ supa valcanoes!

volcano-erupts-fat-guy

Meanwhile in North Korean postcards

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Now we know whom to blame for a super volcano eruption…

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When we turned it down

But in the end you might be like…

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[1] http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3ps9q2

[2] http://www.memecenter.com/fun/6176705/kim-jong-un-amp-039-s-red-button-to-a-nuclear-apocalypse-amp-quot-the-movie-amp-quot/

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